News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
