Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
