I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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