Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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