worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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