how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
