Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
