Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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