she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
