then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dear god my vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
