It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
