I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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