plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize