Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
