Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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