We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize