Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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