Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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