I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
