Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
