you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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