hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
