I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
