I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
