Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
