I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
