he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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