I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
