My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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