Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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