Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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