Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
God, I missed his penis.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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