She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
