Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
