gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
