Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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