she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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