So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
