you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
