fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
