i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
