Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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