guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize