She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
