i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
