K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize