hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
