HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
