I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
