he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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