I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
