Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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