this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
