My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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