dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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