i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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