I'm really into asian looking animals
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
