You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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