Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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