"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
